A Conservative Tumblog

The following was allegedly written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County, GA.

We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, you’re just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won’t have the right to a big- screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You don’t have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won’t lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you’d like; however, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world, and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX: You don’t have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness—which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights in the first place.

These GSA hearings are hysterical.

I don’t think I ever laughed so hard in the last three years, as when Squirmy McAdministrator cited “results.gov” as their crowning achievement—which I immediately keyed in, only to find a 404 - NOT FOUND. I thought it might have just been overloaded as a result of these hearings—but nope, it doesn’t seem to exist at all. Yea, good job guys! Money well spent!

And then, when I googled around to find more info, I laughed even harder at this:

The Obama Administration is proud… VERY proud to announce the launch of Results.Gov

This website highlights the accomplishments… the RESULTS, if you will, which 3+ years of Lord Obama’s awesome rule has wrought!

Here are the Top Ten…but we’re only scratching the surface here:

1.  
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10.  

Yup. Pretty much.

Seriously, I was actually trying to think about it from a leftist perspective (which involved getting quite drunk, so as to lower my cognitive ability) to try and imagine what they could possibly consider an accomplishment. I’m sorry guys, I just plain can’t stupify myself that much—so one of you is going to have to explain it to me. Can any leftist here name (with a straight face) anything that could be remotely considered an “accomplishment” by this ridiculous administration? And by what standard? (And no, you don’t get to claim Bin Laden. Not so long as the DNC keeps blaming every/the complete failure of this administration on Dubya. Can’t claim the good for yourselves if you’re not going to own the bad as well.)

But yeah. Oh god, this GSA thing—hand-picked by Barack Incompetence, mind you—was just such a meatball lobbed over the plate. What a perfect illustration of what happens when you give big government leftists the blank check that is the American taxpayer. Positive result? “NOT FOUND.”

Traditionally, the idea of a public servant is someone who is working for the public, with the implication that he or she is sacrificing a better material life to do so. But can anyone really define today’s relationship this way? Especially when health care and pensions are included, government workers increasingly seem to live better than the people who pay their salaries. How many of you walk into some local, state or federal office these days and leave thinking, “The men and women here are working for me”?

I’m a subscriber to Imprimis, a monthly newsletter that pretty much dedicated to discussions about actual civil liberty (as opposed to the Opposite Day definition of “liberty” that liberals use). Their March issue, which I just got around to reading, had a great article about What Public Employee Unions Are Doing To Our Country. It’s definitely worth the read.

What really stuck out to me was the above-quoted passage. Liberals are always bleating about “public servants” and “public service” and the so-called nobility attached to it. But, as the article asks, can anyone really define today’s relationship that way? I’d love to hear the argument for it, about how public workers are “working for us.”

Does anyone seriously believe that’s true? Because I don’t. When I see a union scumbag buying a yacht with his “boat money”—paid for on my back—I really don’t see the argument where these “public sector” leeches are “working for me.” Do you? I’d love to hear the explanation for it.

Also, I’m interested in hearing from whatever raving psychotic would think this is a good idea:

And that is, there’s no connection between effort and reward. You’re guaranteed your job. You’re guaranteed your salary increase. There’s a kind of bureaucratic equality.

Who here is for this, and what’s wrong with you?